I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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