Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize