every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
