dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize