he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
