I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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