You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize