I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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