fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
