I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
