No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
