today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
