Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
