I hate all girls vehemently.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
