I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
