He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
