He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I believe in your delicious
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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