Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
