Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
