i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
