Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
