I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
