Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
