reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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