my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Betty ford says i'm here all night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize