Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
