He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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