I hate all girls vehemently.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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