ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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