Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
