hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
