I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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