sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
