I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
