We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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