I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Me too!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
