some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
