i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
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This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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