Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
