There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
