I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dick very happy bro
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