I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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