remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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