that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The power of my boobs compel you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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