yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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