I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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