The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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