K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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