i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
