tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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