He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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