This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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