Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
