Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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