The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There r osticjed everywhere
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
