I love black thongs
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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