Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
