So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
