North Korea, Best Korea!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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