I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
