so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
