Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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