2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
