i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
