idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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