hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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